The end of pride 2020 the pride that wasn’t… and another year circling the sun.
I wrote a blog about the end of Pride at the end of June and didn’t share it. It’s below because why waste words? As I wrote, somber was the only emotion I could muster. Not because Pride was ending but because it’s been a wild month for our world, for our nation, for families and neighbors. With the start of the pandemic, we wondered how long it would take before getting back to normal. Many agreed we needed an awakening and begged not to return to a world of consumerism and cruelty.
Then Independence Day arrived here in America. A nation torn between far left and far right, the middle blaming one farside or the other. We are in an incredibly sad state of spreading false information, blaming others, and pitting ourselves against neighbors and friends. We walked our neighborhood on the 4th watching more fireworks than we’ve ever seen left off from driveways and neighborhood streets. We greeted a few with a hello and a few oohhhs and ahhhs. Surreal numbness filled the smoky air as we passed people we know far from the sidewalk to create the physical distance we know we need to give to show respect. Interesting image, respecting neighbors because of an unseen virus while watching hate tossed around from the safety of the sidelines. Another somber reminder that at the end of everything, we are but alone.
But it’s not the end of anything just yet. Today marks another year for me. My birthday. Another year older. A year of quiet celebration at home with those I love most. Surreal again. No friends. No dinner out. Not even a yearning to be around others this year. My own life lacks stability with questions of mental health running through my household, concerns of walking on eggshells each day so we aren’t all dragged down with each cycle, and worries of calling Crisis or heading the hospital again in the midst of a pandemic. No matter which way I turn, I question it all. That point of view takes a toll on my own mental health. So, today, I practice self-care. I took the day off work. I did some projects early so I could enjoy the day with my family.
The reality for us all – in my humble opinion – is we all need to reflect. What matters most? How do I want to spend this next year in my world so I’m not here writing how disappointed I am in the amount of hatred coming from all sides? Self-care. Back to my blog about Pride, I continue to honor those who walked before me and pave the path to respect, responsibility, and kindness for those who follow. So, today, I reflect and begin to ask for better. Better for our world, for my children, for everyone. A reflection that ends with a coming together. Let’s come together.
This year started as The Year Without PRIDE, but this month, 51 years of Pride, ends with a coming together many could never have imagined at the opening of the month.
We don’t end this Pride month feeling disconnected and lost in pandemic and civil unrest- at least the hope is those celebrating Pride aren’t feeling lost and disconnected, even in a world of social distancing and canceled parades.
In fact, in our world of injustice, unrest, and eye-opening possibility, it appears cultural education is on the rise. I was surprised this year, 51 one years after Stonewall, just how many people did not know about the uprising that started Pride the black transwomen who started it all for us, and the comradery of the Black Panthers in our fight for justice and freedom to be who we are.
I challenged readers last year as we closed our 50th year celebrating Pride, to imagine a world where wearing a dress or pants and a tie might cause your arrest. Imagine being in a relationship that is considered a crime. Not unacceptable as an opinion but a crime.
“Unreal,” Marsha P. Johnson said about the times when being gay and dressing outside of gender norms was considered illegal.
We have a come a long way, and we still have many miles to go. We have a mighty agenda ahead including bathroom rights, birth certificate language, immediate parental rights, a new focus on transgender rights and binary language. Tolerance is not acceptance. We do have a long way to go.
As we face every year, this month brought the LGBT community some triumphs and some hard. falls.
There is so much to be said about Pride 2020.
Today, on July 1, as we start a new month, we still wave our rainbow flags and still stand firm on our desire to be able to live and love as freely as others do without a second glance. Also, today, among rising numbers in a pandemic killing people and the separate pandemic of hatred spreading like wildfire, it’s okay to break down. In light of the end of Pride, I’m choosing to break down.
I’m sad to see this month of Love Wins again and again end. I’m sad to see the rainbow profile photos go away. I’m eager to march in the next parade, to see the lesbians sitting all around me at a WNBA game, to know we are all still here — together. I’m eager. And I’m in breakdown mode. All at the same time.
I sat down to write a blog to end Pride month on a positive note. To celebrate the coming together of people. Protesters. Lovers. Fighters.
There are many things that will drag us down, but we have proven as a community, we can come together again and again. What we’ve learned this month is when we stand for others too, we learn just how many stand next to us. Those we may not have seen before.
Tonight, I ring in a new month with an amazing woman by my side a bit somber but eager to express my love and pride for the outcasts who stand without fear in effort to educate others and revel in the amazing diversity we can offer when we come together.
June may be over, and though July is here, we remember the people who walked before us and give hope to those who will follow.
Be well.
~ Stella