I say it from time to time… I try not to get political here. But I also live in a world of transparency and commit that to my readers. I do this for several reasons – because I am exactly, unapologetically who I am, growing and evolving, hoping for positive change, and I am gay.
It’s important for me to be out in my professional world. Many (many, many) years ago, I worked in the music industry. I was out. It was cool – even, if I dare, okay. During some of that time, I had a bodybuilder girlfriend in a world of men — her story is hers, but I think she was out far less than I was — out in some areas while not in others. Another girlfriend I’d known for many years and had dated on and off until we became exclusive after she left the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy of our military – the same one she’d served with honor for eight years – was not out. She was in a DADT policy world, and for us, it meant our relationship was closeted as well.
Times were different back then. That was before I had my own children. Before I’d matured to the point of truly understanding why my own father could support me loving who I wished while also advising I take the pink triangles off my car.
Today, my love and life partner is also out – a small community service business owner who doesn’t fear what being out could mean and doesn’t allow it to stop her from growing a fantastic business.
Politics vary for everyone because what matters to us as individuals vary. We all have vast differences. I could list those differences – and why they matter to us as political individuals, but…I won’t. It’s often these different values or matters of importance that drive our vote. What matters politically to a young single business owner might differ from what matters to a middle aged couple with teens or a retiring couple. 
I will say several things matter to me for my future and my children, my community, other Americans I do not know (some I will never know nor understand what life is for their individual paths), and our country. I likely consider politics in that order. Humans first.
Our current president has publicly said he is the ‘most pro-gay president in American history,’ and I fully believe the only thing that rings any truth there is that over the last four years, the LGBTQ+ community has been louder than ever before. We’ve stood stronger. We’ve found allies we haven’t had since Stonewall; more in our community have bonded together with those within whom we may not have taken time to understand (or stand with) in previous administrations. Much of this is a revolution in social justice, while on the other side, we had eight years with the previous administration invited into a spotlight. This isn’t a Trump vs. Obama post – this isn’t a Trump vs. Obama election. But it is important to know some of the positive history of the Obama years for the LGBTQ+ community to understand the undoing of that trust from the current administration who claims to be the most pro-gay president in our history.
Creating a welcoming culture allowed more of us to live openly. As we lived more openly than ever before, more of us were able to dive deeper into our own community to see how we can help those still down. As we gained rights to marry, allowing us deathbed rights and simpler parenting abilities, we still fight for cut and dry parenting and birth certificate rights, citizenship rights for adopted children, and so much more. As we continue to gain basic human rights, people in our country are granted at birth, our ‘most pro-gay president’ has slowly been stripping rights away from the LGBTQ+ community.
Earlier, I mentioned just how vastly our differences vary and how so often those differences drive our votes. No matter where our values lie and what drives our votes first, it’s important to understand this LGBTQ+ history — at least for me and for my family as well as for my community. It might not directly affect all lives, especially those families who are cisgender without LGBTQ+ humans in their individual worlds.
However we vote individually – and it matters to me that my readers, friends, and family know I will never look down on anyone for voting for themselves, their values, or their community – I do think it’s important at every level to understand or at least have access to this enormous lie Trump has given about being ‘pro-gay.’ In today’s time of civil unrest, it’s also my personal opinion that he is also not ‘pro-black’ or ‘pro-woman.’ But that’s my opinion.
One thing many outside my community may not know is why this is such an enormous lie. For us, those in the LGBTQ+ community and our allies who make the time to get involved, the information is easy to come by. For others – those maybe not in this environment – it might not be on the cover or popular daily or weekly rags, mags, or journals. So, with the help of the journalists behind
LGBTQNation, here is the record of Trump and his administration stripping away human rights since 2016. This article, written by
JUWAN J. HOLMES is eye opening on many levels – hopefully even to those who fall for the rhetoric that Trump has been good to humans.
These rights may not affect every household in America. They may not affect an all-to-common cisgender, 2.5 cars & 2.5 kids, W2 earning with family healthcare plan and 401K 6% match family. But it does affect Americans. It affects straight Americans. It affects American children. It affects healthcare for marginalized transgender humans. It affects Native Americans. It affects African Americans. It affects white men; Asian men… it affects women. It affects us all.
Why?
Because we are all humans. We are all Americans. And we all deserve “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
For many of us, that means becoming a parent against all odds might be the one thing we desire more than anything, and we will cross all obstacles to get there – and we will take the time it takes us to get there to be the best parents we can be.
For some of us, it means the willingness to make the ultimate sacrifice to the country who has betrayed us for far too long, even if it means bringing death to our mother’s doorstep,
Trump has said publicly it will be his mission to overturn gay marriage rights. He has succeeded in stripping away rights one at a time, especially for transgender Americans. It’s not lost on me or my family – I am next on the list. So, I stand with our entire community, and I ask for allies of us all.
So, though my intent is not to ask anyone to vote one way or another, it is important to me that information is available to those who want to take a stand against discrimination – against any human. We are talking discrimination against our most private parts hidden from the world unless someone with power thinks they should see what these privates look like or what we do with them in our private spaces.
Please, lean into education when it comes to what is pro-gay or pro-human and what is a great line for the media.
Check the links above for real information about real people that affects housing opportunities, parenting rights, the natural right to serve our nation, the right to pursue happiness — by playing sports, by using a toilet just as easily accessible as the ones available to the rest of us, by feeling safe, by seeking shelter in places which offer it and work in a realm of love and understanding, through education opportunities, and right to work chances, by accessing the same benefits granted to other Americans. Those things will not matter to all voters – that’s what makes our country unique… but they will matter to some, and for those, I feel it’s crucial to understand the lies told by a man who is not for humans unless they look and act as he does.
We are all different. And currently, we are divided by a leader who refuses to embrace differences.
Vote. It matters.
I will get back to my work writing and my Kindness Matters platform and leave politics to those who live in that world. Vote with the power to love and the tenacity to show compassion. Wherever that vote lies in each individual’s world — use the power.
Until then…
Be well.
~ Stella
All images courtesy Canva Pro, multi-use license
