When all is said and done
No more bullets in the gun
No words to say
At the end of the day
I’m sorry you ever felt anything but love.
Shattered moments
Solitude
Serenity
Overarching aches and pains
Felt through the winds of time
And with every drop of rain
I’m sorry you ever felt anything but love.
Serenity prayers to say good night
Keep going one mere step at a time
Without a hint or a clue
Of the pain I’m storing
Because of what you left behind.
Creeping up
Before popping out
In front of everything and everyone
Leaving me in panic
Shouts of a Jack in the Box tune.
I’m sorry you ever felt anything but love.
A small warning for the disappearance of life
Moved on without me
Without the family we built
My heart only carrying guilt and shame
For what they sacrificed — for you
Yet…
I’m sorry you ever felt anything but love.
A wish…
An easy way out for you
A sense of belonging for me
Because everything you took,
Walking away without a final look,
Left my world crumbled and broken
I’m sorry you ever felt anything but love.
Never prepared to do this alone
After a promise broken
I reap what you have sown
A world where time is split
Because of your words went unspoken
…But only to me,
For she set you free
In the dark hours of the night
When you took her gift of light
I’m sorry… In your home…
You ever felt anything but love.
I carry the results
Insecurity and consequence
Because you voiced your needs
To someone other than me.
You see, This, It, and That
Do not define objection.
But from where you sat,
Your voice never heard
I’m sorry you ever felt anything but love.
When love takes its pain to another’s couch
And trust walks away with set boundaries
Love’s heart is left filled with doubt
Just like the one before me
Lying on the bathroom floor
Waiting for the beeping
Of our front door
And for you to walk inside
To simply talk.
No more a happenstance,
You left without a glance
And replaced everything we had
With new faces filled with grace
I’m still sorry you ever felt anything but love.
Eight months, shattered as you move on
Quickly
Numbing the pain with every puff and sip
Wishing
I could call anyone home
Except you
I begged no one to save me,
But save me, they did.
Unearthing the rubble
Shattered from my soul,
While you live in moments of strife
And words never said,
I stay in moments of life
Laughter
Love
Pure
Simple
Comfort
Home
Where you belong
I’m sorry you ever felt anything but love.
And angry you threw us away
Without a glance back
An apology
Validation that we deserve better
For the one who promised
Love
Dreams
Life
To live together
Through it all.
I’m sorry you ever felt anything but love.
In the spaces of the pain
You refused to share
And the trauma of a childhood misspent
Trust wasn’t a gift willing
To sit in my space
Presented to another
Whose broken promise
Shattered a world you took over.
I’m sad… you ever felt anything but love.
For it was love that lived here.
It was always love…
And you closed the door,
Dropping it
To shatter in broken pieces.
Shattered.
I’m sorry you ever felt anything but love.
~Stella Samuel ©2021