I joke often about my ADD. Hey, sometimes squirrels are funny. My squirrels carry disco balls, boom boxes on their tiny shoulders – I know, I tell them all the time I have Alexa and can play anything they want – and toss glitter by the pawful.
ADD is serious. And fun.
How I approach my ADD depends on how well I know myself. Oh, did I tell you, I’m a basic houseplant? I change a little each day. Some days I’m dry and in need while other days find me full of blossoms. Flowering days are the good ones. Those are the days I have an idea, can write it down in some sort of outline form (I’m not picky here – I just need a beginning, middle, and end), and execute to fruition. My flowers don’t bloom often. It takes time to build a novel or screenplay. But I do blossom often. What’s taken me years to learn about myself is all those patterns I work through work for me in my world of writing and coaching.
Blossoming days are incredible for coaching. Bloom days are perfect for finishing a story while days of it ain’t easy being green are for everything else. This is where I fill the bulk of my time.
I often tell friends I need to get some things off my plate, but then I always add more. Those of you who have ADD, do you do this too?
I can’t stay focused on one thing, so I have to create more to keep me focused on something. But not just anything. Something productive.
Have you ever seen yourself through the eyes of someone else?
I see myself all the time through my partner’s eyes. She laughs at me more than anyone. She also grounds me more than anyone. Yesterday she worked from home. She’s building businesses left and right, so she had some invoicing to do, some proposals to write, and some other something or another to do. I don’t pretend to know.
I had a great idea. Just set up my new office a few weeks ago. I have an awesome dance – I mean workspace… come work in my office with me. We can gaze into each other’s eyes. We can have breakfast and lunch together. We can tell jokes and laugh. You can see how all three dogs pile up in one office and snore all day.
There were times she was quiet. Reading or typing, content. I asked Alexa to start my day. Have you done this? It’s like stretching in the morning. It’s a must-do. I get to hear about all the traffic I avoid and music business news. I don’t know. Don’t ask. Well, I do know why. I’m not twenty-five anymore, so I don’t have a clue who’s taking their horse up Old Town Road, but many years ago, that was my arena. The industry. So, I try to keep up. Every year, I avoid the Grammy’s because I can.
Here’s how it goes in my office:
This is my ADD while Jessica and I try to work:
The music starts.
Jessica: 😐 typing, ignoring the world, focused
Stella: *Chanting*
Such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty girl
Pretty, pretty, such a pretty, pretty, pretty girl
Jessica: ??
Stella: I really only like a few songs by the Stones. Alexa, play something else.
Meanwhile, I log in to a client site.
Note: I get paid by my projects, not by the hour, so if it takes me ten hours to do something, it’s on me. I have agreements to meet goals and do well for them. I make a point of not signing agreements that say I cannot stop and dance or yell out random lyrics.
Stella: What’s the opposite of hope?
Jessica: What?
Stella: Accomplishment, Dreams come true…. never mind.
Stella opens the document of the day.
Goal: 4,000-5,000 cohesive story, first draft.
**Stella gets Post-It Note. Digs for a pencil. Draws a branch. Puts pencil down.**
Jessica: 🤨
Stella: He’s going to be in King Lear. Or something like that. What’s Act One/Scene One of King Lear? Is Cordelia in that one? Or is it…
Jessica: 🤫
Stella: We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl – year after year.
Jessica: …
Stella: We should have a Pink Floyd day.
Alexa plays Queen.
Stella: Mammmma (long before the words in the song play) just killed a man.
Never mind. Keep it here.
Jessica: I love you
Stella: Thanks.
I love you too. But, really, thanks. Not many could.
….. There are moments of work here. They are quiet. Focus. And literally moments…
Stella: HELLO!
Jessica: 😔
Stella: Is it me you’re looking for?
Jessica: 🙄
Stella: ***stares at the love of her life***
*sings*
Are you somewhere feeling lonely? Or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart. For I haven’t got a clue. But let me start by saying:
I love you
Jessica: I love you too, baby.
Stella: Oh. Sorry…Richie in my head
Jessica: Ok.
** Focuses on work again**
Stella too focuses.
Writes a few hundred words.
Stella: I hate this story. It’s shit. Complete shit. Hate it. Hate it.
*Minimizes it, opens different work.*
Jessica focused.
Stella: PROMISE!
Jessica: 😒 Promise what?
Stella: We go from hope to a promise. But that’s not the opposite of hope. But it works. I’ll start there. Leave me alone. I’m thinking.
Jessica: Leave you alone?
Stella: Hey you! Out there in the cold getting lonely, getting old. Can you feel me?
Typing…focused.
click click click
Stella: We really should do a Pink Floyd day.
Jessica: Sure, baby.
Stella: Wait! He needs to use his cell phone more. That’s the problem.
Jessica: With the promise?
Stella: What?
Jessica: The promise… hope…
Stella: That was so 68 seconds ago. No. The story. My shit story. He needs to use technology. Shakespeare didn’t have technology. He needs to use it. He has it. Giants don’t.
Jessica: I love you.
Stella: Thank you. And I love you too.
Jessica: Don’t open it now. I know you’re busy. I just sent you a document. When you have time, could you look at it, rewrite it and do your magic? Not now. Don’t open it now.
Stella: Sure.
**Opens Document**
Looks. Smiles.
Stella: Can I change what I want?
Jessica: 🤦🏽♀️
Stella: 🙃
Jessica: I knew you’d open it.
Stella: I love you.
Stella: No Sleep Till Brooklyn!
*********************************
I could go on. Seriously, I could.
I can also assure I meet deadlines. Not always my own deadlines — I set my own bar really high so I can fail. It’s personal character building. I meet client deadlines. And I’ve set my sights realistically based on the changes I need to make in my business.
I understand how I work.
I need music. But, I also blurt out song lyrics like I’m paid to do it. Thank you, Dad. I miss you to no end. You live in every third sentence I spout. I live in my own musical. I get it.
Musicals are making a comeback. Admit it. You loved The Greatest Showman. You know you loved it.
I’ve lived that way since I was six years old. Everything is a song. I thrive with music. But it’s also distracting for me. I know where my balance lies. It’s a fine line between sing-alongs and a quiet Mozart. It’s a line on which I dance often.
If ADD and work don’t connect in your world, I’d suggest tools to keep you focused: …
No. Stop.
That doesn’t work. And you probably know it.
Desk toys are distracting but fun. Tools are one size fits no one.
What works for the lack of focus?
Getting to know yourself.
Small segments of productivity.
Know what you can offer.
Set goals, but also set limits.
I know what I have to offer the world. Sometimes it comes in one blog. Sometimes in one scene. Sometimes I can get a whole chapter.
Other times, the focus is smaller.
Along with ADD, I live with severe anxiety. It makes me a great introvert. It also improves my storytelling because empathy comes easy to me.
Anxiety makes me a counter.
Yes, it’s odd. But I’ve given the counting method to a number of people to help through rough moments, and everyone tells me it works.
Along with counting to get from moment to moment, knowing how to work in small timed segments helps me to stay focus. The average song length is 3-5 minutes. When I was a runner, I’d run for five songs. Or seven songs. Or just one more song. Or to the end of this song.
When I lack focus, which, don’t get me wrong, isn’t all the time, I find working in these smaller segments is easier than trying to tackle an entire project at once. I work with one piece or for a small length of time based on a timer, a song, a set goal…whatever path gets me from point A to point B then on to C…
My biggest advice is not to let ADD stop us from being. Being amazing. Being productive. Being kind and patient with ourselves.
Just know how to get where you need to be. For me, it’s one thing at a time in a larger group of a lot of things at once. If that doesn’t resonate with you, you probably don’t have or deal with ADD.
Now, get to work.
Stella: But it was only fantasy
The wall was too high
As you can see
No matter how he tried
He could not break free
It will be a Pink Floyd day, by the way.
Peace and lyrics
~ Stella